I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
