he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
