I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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