what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
