They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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