my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
