He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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