what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
