uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
