I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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