My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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