First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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