Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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