Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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