Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
