What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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