Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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