So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
