I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
