thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
