DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
