I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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