If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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