she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
