Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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