Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
