i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
