we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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