Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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