my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
