Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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