Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things šš
He was all āplease donāt bail because Iām missing work for thisā last night
Honey no, I need dick. Iām not going to bail
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