my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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