All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Randomize
