i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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