dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
