She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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