So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
