We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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