Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't deserve a penis
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
