I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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