Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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