I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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