Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Randomize
