I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
