You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
