Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
