'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
