You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
