talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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